since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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