I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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