I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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