Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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