I hate your face
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
