He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
try to milk me bitch
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