i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
