cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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