oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize