he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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