Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize