you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
