I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
