i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
