Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize