I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
