Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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