i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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