Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it glows. i had to have it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
