i love accidental penises.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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