Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
