So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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