dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
