We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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