You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
