Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
