these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
