oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
A+ Viking dick
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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