I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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