That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
