Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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