proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
