Cold hands, warm shart.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
