have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
