he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
