walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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