and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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