I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize