fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
