What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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