Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
