I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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