Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
