As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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