Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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