Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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