I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
