are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
