yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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