so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
is wine microwaveable?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
