i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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