so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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