I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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