don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
