brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
