She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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