jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
