1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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