Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this is an emotional support booty call
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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