Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
