i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
