WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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