i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
