the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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