turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
