Your face is a jimmy john
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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