if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
