You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
