Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
