Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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