i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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