she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
