I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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