I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Im part way to drunk.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
