This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
