it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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