Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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